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Divorce and Your Mortgage: 3 Options for the Family Home

Updated Apr 6, 2026
3 min read
BM

Bill McCoy

|Licensed Mortgage Broker

CA DRE #01212512 | 15+ years experience

Divorce is hard. Splitting up the house makes it harder.

I'm Bill McCoy (CA DRE #01212512). I've helped dozens of divorcing couples handle their mortgages. Here's what you actually need to know.

Disclaimer: I'm a mortgage broker, not an attorney. Consult a family law attorney for legal advice specific to your situation.

Community Property Basics

In California, all assets acquired during marriage are community property — owned 50/50.

That includes the house, the equity, and the mortgage. Even if only one spouse is on the title or loan.

Exception: Assets acquired before marriage or through inheritance/gift are separate property.

Option 1: Sell and Split

Most common solution. List the home, sell it, pay off the mortgage, split the remaining equity.

Pros: Clean break. Both spouses walk away with cash and no ongoing financial tie.

Cons: You'll eat 5-6% in commission plus closing costs. And you might be selling in a bad market.

Option 2: One Spouse Buys Out the Other

One spouse keeps the home and pays the other for their 50% equity share.

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Example:

  • Home value: $700,000
  • Mortgage balance: $400,000
  • Equity: $300,000
  • Buyout amount: $150,000

The keeping spouse must refinance the mortgage into their name only — removing the other spouse from both the loan and the title.

Pros: Stability, especially if kids are involved.

Cons: The keeping spouse must qualify for the new loan on their income alone. That's the hard part.

Option 3: Co-Own and Rent

Both spouses keep ownership, rent the home, split income and expenses, and sell later.

I'll be honest — this rarely works. Exes who co-own rentals almost always end up fighting over repairs, tenants, or sale timing. If you can sell now or buy out, do that instead.

Also, most mortgages require owner-occupancy. Your lender might not allow it.

How the Refinance Buyout Works

If one spouse is keeping the home, here's the typical process:

Step 1: Get an appraisal or broker price opinion to determine home value.

Step 2: Calculate the equity and buyout amount (see the example above).

Step 3: Refinance for enough to cover the old loan plus the buyout. In our example, that's a $550K new loan — $400K pays off the existing mortgage, $150K goes to the ex.

Step 4: Qualify on your income alone. Lenders underwrite based on your income only, not both spouses.

Step 5: The leaving spouse signs a quitclaim deed, transferring ownership.

Step 6: Close on the refinance. New loan in your name only. Ex is removed from loan and title.

The whole process typically takes 3-5 months. Don't wait until month 11 of a 12-month deadline from the divorce decree.

One Critical Thing to Know

A divorce decree doesn't remove you from the mortgage.

If the decree says "Wife keeps the house and pays the mortgage," husband isn't off the hook with the lender. Both names are still on the loan until someone refinances. If your ex stops paying, your credit takes the hit too.

Only a refinance removes you from the mortgage. Read more about protecting yourself during a divorce mortgage for what to do if your ex won't cooperate.

What's Your Situation?

Every divorce mortgage is different. I've seen clean buyouts close in 60 days and messy ones drag on for years.

The sooner you talk to a lender who's done this before, the better your options.

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Better Offers Inc | CA DRE #01212512

BM

Bill McCoy

|Licensed Mortgage Broker

CA DRE #01212512 | 15+ years experience

Bill McCoy is a California-licensed mortgage broker with over 15 years of experience helping homebuyers and real estate investors secure financing. Specializing in conventional loans, DSCR investor loans, and creative financing solutions for California properties.

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